Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Apartment Etiquette

New Things: The movie Safe House, Dyed my hair chocolate brown


Now that I understand we can say whatever we want to our neighbors, no matter how ridiculous, I've listed a few of my own complaints about apartment living. 

1. There are two types of good neighbors: a) those that get to know you, the good and bad, and b) those that keep to themselves completely.  This means there is either a genuine relationship where care and friendship is the foundation in which conflict can be handled rightly, or I don't have to listen to you.

2. If you own pets, please keep their poop out of the grass.  Barking can only happen between 9am-5pm, except when I'm home for a nap.  No cats allowed, I'm allergic.

3. No babies (see #2)

4. Keep kids away from the pool.  I don't care if they are with adult supervision.  They are loud and splash water on me.

5. No having guests over to your home.  The noise reminds me that I was not invited. 

6. There is not enough parking.  Therefore, if you do have guests have them move their car for me when I come home so I don't have to walk.

7. Take 3 min showers and recycle water being used for cooking.  We share a water bill throughout the building and I don't want to be responsible for you.

8. Everyone needs to buy their own printer.  I get frustrated when the ink is out in the business center printer.

9. Boyfriends do not have opinions

10. No moving around in your home because heavy footsteps, children playing, animals running, sitting down, or dropping objects cause me to be irrationally irritated. 

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Diving into an empty pool

New Things: Chuck E. Cheese, Mellow Mushroom Trivia Night, Peanut Butter M&Ms addiction, Visited the SPCA

Most people jump to conclusions.  A slice of time and context can be the gateway for the imagination to run away.  Possibilities and stories are created in the mind to the point that it is blurred with reality.  Presuppositions are concrete and facts are irrelevant.  People don't jump, they plunge into the extremes: the worst possible scenario or the hope for a lovestruck stocker. 

I'm logical.  I like to think fully through a situation.  I view things in all perspectives before forming my opinions and conclusions.  I won't let my eyes deceive me.  I ask questions and assume the best in people.  I won't share my opinions as fact.  I assume the worst in myself before I do in others.  Innocent until proven guilty.  (mom always thought I'd be a good lawyer). 

A week ago I helped teach a devotional for work.  I started out giving a list of words and asked the group to raise their hands if they thought the word was positive or negative.  The list: wicked, sick, feminine, easy, work, lost, hysterical, and baby.  Each of these words on their own at first glance can be good or bad.  The idea was being positive is a whole person job.  Our words, actions, relationships, purpose, intentions, etc... are part of the context that creates this positive influence in children's lives. 

The same is true in our lives.  A cute guy smiles at me may be the same smile he gives grandma.  A dirty look from a girl may be a confused look after one of my thought provoking remarks.  A child that has a sinful attitude is still a sinful attitude but it may be influenced by an unloving home or a bully at school.  A friend that talks lounder than everyone else may not be deaf as much as they need compassion or attention.  A friend that keeps things to themselves is not a slam to a friendship as much as it is a defense mechanism.  A car that cuts you off in traffic may not be impatient but their wife could be in labor or running away from the cops. 

This way of thinking is not permission to wallow in the various possibilities.  It is not ok to think the best in yourself so that the scenario seems to go your way.  It is simply my way of not worrying about everything until I know what's real, and then accepting it.  God tells us not to worry because knows us, our desires, our needs.  He takes care of the flowers and birds.  Why on earth would we believe he would neglect his children?  He also says that he will not allow us to go through any temptation without providiing a way out.  When we worry it is because we do not trust these two promises from God.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Back to the Future

New things: Circus!!

I have a k-5 boy at work that has self-appointed himself as my "helper".  Really that means he walks with me to the office so he gets a special toy to play with when he is fed up with his group's activity.  He is a challenge most of the time, but lets be honest, that's why I love him.  Or it is because he brought me roses for Valentines Day.  He got mad at me the other day for not letting him go to another group's activity so he threw a block, tensed his body and in a truly angry voice said to me "I'm mad at you!  Wanna play Uno?"  With an invitation like that, who could resist.

Today, however, was one of those days that reminded me of my entire life's purpose.  I totally can see God's work in my life to bring me to this point! My education, jobs, desires, gifts from God, burdens, and joy all point me to my desire to love and serve those that can't speak up for themselves.  The child that cannot count on their parents for a future.  For the girl that does not believe they are valuable.  For the boy that refuses to choose the narrow path.  For the parents that have found themselves in jail, drugs or bankruptcy. 

 Today:  My dear friend was having a moment.  Frustrated getting out in a game and shoved a girl that was quite concerned with his integrity of playing the game fairly.  When he came to me you could see him at boiling point.  Outside in front of the school he began to run away from me because he refused to come sit down.  DANGER!  I'm not trying to run after a 5 year old, he's fast!  Thankfully, he had set limitations in his mind how far he could run.  He stopped at the edge of the grass before it hits the sidewalk next to the street.  He allowed me to catch him.  I picked him up and got him in the cafeteria and held him in my lap hugging him so that he could not break free, bolting towards the doors.  We sat there with him begging me to let go, crying, sweating, and frustrated.  Suddenly a purple car arrives in front of the school.  A momentary pause paralyzed him and he realizes it is not mom but the car has come for him.  It was the aunt.  I'm standing with him in my arms, previously struggling to get as far from me as possible, now clinging as tight as he can.  Still crying but begging me not to let go. Laying his head on my shourlder with tears streaming down his face.  It broke my heart.  It scares me.  I'm limited and helpless.  I can't save him.  I have to hand him over.  All I can do is hold him close, rub his back and say "I know buddy.  I love you". 

It broke my heart.  All I want is to be able to love them.  I want to help.  Give hope (in Christ).  I want more than to comfort.  I want to make a difference.  I want to give them their potential.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Diagnosis for Crazy

New Things: Read "Life Together" by Bonhoeffer, cooked enchiladas, ate at Over the Falls Deli new location, Watched Taking the Pelham 123

I can only explain my ridiculous behavior with the possibility that I might actually be crazy. Please don't judge me and love me despite myself.  My apologies for how my crazy might effect you.
(These are in no particular order.  All are equally crazy.)

1. I can't start a new book (or reading assignment) until I have finished the current one.  The same goes with a tv show and chores.

2. I think it is better to sleep on the floor than my queen size sleigh bed with a new mattress.

3. The one thing that makes me feel better is actually the thing that makes me feel worse- COOKIE DOUGH or Running

4. My medicine is a dance party

5. I do not enjoy technology

6. Giving me a compliment is one of the worst things you can do to me.

7. A person of few words is most impressive to me.

8. Avocado, coffee, and bread are the staples in my diet.

9. I hate boardgames and game night because I am unhealthily competitive

10. I daydream about "what if" tragedy scenarios in my life

11. I order from menus based on how fun it is to say "Medium Mighty Meaty Mellow Mushroom" or "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity"

12. I like movies that make the criminal seem intelligent.

13. I eat my food one ingredient at a time. (i.e. pizza: I eat the toppings, cheese, sauce, then bread)

14. A routine or predictability unnerves me.

15. I cannot concentrate without noise

16. The sound of a clock ticking or a turning signal drives me crazy.

17. I am a stickler on words being used appropriately. The words "love", "hate", "always", and "never" are too strong of words to throw around so lightly. 

18. I waste time thinking about the most odd things, like why are there white crayons? why does a cloud represent a dream in cartoons? Is the color blue the same for everyone or do we just know to call that color blue? Why are Kenyans faster than everyone else? How does pushing a button on a box freeze time in a picture? What happened to Fraggle Rock?

19. I love trying to figure out the logic of a 5 year old or working with the most challenging child.  The sad thing is I'm usually tracking their flow.

20.  I have a shoulder dance that I do to my own beat that is now a universal sign for "oh yeah, this is happening to me right now"

21. I have a ridiculous knack for attracting the most unique situations like being paid to stop singing karaoke, share the gospel with a Druid, having a 50 year old woo me after meeting at Starbucks, laying tile at a bona fied hoarder's house,  having my very own stalker, crazy guy that tried to live in my basement in college, being robbed by my next door neighbor, climbing a roof for a kid's shoe at work (these will be stories you get to view on the blog at some point).

22. I thrive off of foolish challenges. (ride a tricycle, have a dance off with a stranger, cupcake eating contest, take bets)

23. I'm terrified of public speaking but don't think twice about speaking my mind.

24. I have an unruly fear of horses, feet, falling asleep to silence, holding babies, and the Maasai Market in Kenya.

25. I drink hot coffee in the summer more than I drink water.