WARNING: This blog is not for the weary reader!
Ten days ago I was packing up to move to Toronto. It was a no brainer. I was given the opportunity to work with two church plants in Toronto. I had struggled through all the implications of quitting my job, leaving the familiarity of my home, friends, family, stability, ministry. This move was an answer to prayers I have had for about 10 years. I prayed with doubt that a job ever existed that I could go to a big city, live life with people, and not raise support. And now I know, God's purpose is beyond my doubt.
Monday July 1st I set off on the roads with my car packed purposefully and explosively with what I considered worthy of this journey, including my friend Kari. We stopped in Pennsylvania where some of her family stay. Our first stop was at Wilbur's Chocolate Co. which means we know how to start a trip right. Then we stopped by her grandfather's house. What a man of God! He took time to challenge us, encourage us, and pray for us. He prayed specifically for my time in Toronto and for me to find a husband which means a prayer from a man like that, I may be married next week! Then we visited Kari's aunt and uncle where life is care free. But life is not care free. In fact, there is plenty to worry about, but they live their lives enjoying the now, trusting the later, and looking forward to the eternal. It is evident the family loves one another with a selfless love. I'm thankful for my time in Pennsylvania!
Tuesday July 2nd We set off again with my stomach in knots. Moving to Toronto was the least of my worries. I kept telling Kari that I was nervous about the border. I thought I was nervous because I didn't know what to do when I got there. It turns out I was nervous because Canada rejected me... twice! The questions they ask are legit. I understand they don't want me to be a threat to their people or jobs. I thought I had all the right answers: "I'm coming to work with a Church... No, my church in NC is supporting me... Yes, my job is helping the church in Toronto with whatever they need... My job title? Children's director... Yes, I quit my job to come here. No, I didn't get fired... I don't know what I'll do after the year is up. I'll come back to the states and figure it out... No my church in NC doesn't get anything out of supporting me... Yes I understand this is an amazing opportunity." Their response "you can't come in without a medical!" Being the problem solver that I am, I thought it wise to try again as a visitor to the country: strike 2! "Ma'am, we do have the right to ban you from Canada forever. Just go get the medical." So of course the closest doctors they approve are in Canada (which I'm not allowed in) or NYC!
Wednesday July 3rd I call the doctor and make an appointment for Monday 1:30. Great! 5 days in NYC. Kari and I head to NYC. We got a late start so we could rest and get free breakfast at the hotel my boss provided. I'm an idiot. This puts us traveling through NYC 5pm the day before Independence Day! No worries, I'm a wicked driver and Kari is quite the navigator. Somehow we made it through Manhattan, the Holland Tunnel, and Brooklyn where my wonderful friend Alyson is waiting for us. No coincidence that she arrived back from Florida the very hour I needed to come stay with her. Next problem: what to do with a car full of all my possessions in Brooklyn? Alyson found an enclosed lot for the night. She said the guard only let us bring my car in because of my predicament. It was too expensive for my entire stay but it would do for the night.
Thursday July 4th time to say goodbye to Kari. It was almost like it was okay that I had gone through everything because I had the steadfast prayer and calmness of Kari. I couldn't help but cry. But it was so sweet to be able to pray and give thanks for her friendship, who she is, for her and Tyler, for their baby, for the times I'll still need her in my life. We got her a cab, she cried, then she was gone!
Alyson and I went to get my car out of the lot where we met a guy from Nigeria. First thing out of his mouth, "you must be VIP to have your car in here. God takes care of those that have faith in him." Amen! We drove my car to one of her professor's house in New Jersey where they invited us for a quaint bbq. We spent the day talking, eating, laughing, and playing and for a brief moment I forgot I wasn't supposed to be there. His family and grandchildren just naturally fit my idea of a good family day. I am also grateful for their willingness to keep my car at their house in safety!
Friday July 5th I go with Alyson to look for apartments. Without going into details I must say God is unbelievably in every detail. Even is our rash decisions, our doubt, our stubbornness, and the emotional roller coaster that money and deadlines create. It was neat for me to hear Alyson ask for very specific things in her prayer to God and then be able to give thanks with her when those were answered. We are still in the process of trusting God for her apartment but I'm also still in the process of waiting for Canada. So, we're in it together, not alone, not in panic, but in faith!
Saturday July 6th Alyson takes me back to Jersey to join in another bbq and pool party. The purpose is to be with friends but also to minister to some newer friends they had met by serving after Hurricane Sandy. These families lost everything! The only thing they know to trust is what they have and its gone. But they moved on with the help of believers. The day was such an awesome time but mostly because I was able to hear stories of the struggles these families faced in Russia and here and they're still moving forward. I pray Alyson and her friends continue to take every opportunity to share.
Sunday July 7th More apartment negotiating for Alyson. I'll spare you! Oh yeah I also had to get a passport photo id for the doctor. Something as simple as going to the pharmacy I have found a way
to make much more difficult. We go to the first place, they take my photo, and then realize they are out of photo paper (what?). They suggest going to Target. Upon arrival we are told they do not provide that service. Finally, we call WalGreens for confirmation that they have both the service and paper. I get there and the camera stops working, (it's time to laugh)! Just a change of batteries needed, whew! Simplicity is not a friend of mine.
Monday July 8th Doctor Day! Ok so again I got super nervous about going to the doctor. I don't know why. All they will do is take a look at me send my results and be done. I'm a little morbid and thought about the possibility that maybe I went through all of this just so the doctor finds some crazy rare disease that they are able to cure in NYC. We all have our moments. I went in, they took my measurements, pressure, blood and money, then sent me off to get an Xray. Got the Xray and all looks fine! Wonderful! I'm healthy and broke and now have to walk 2 miles back to Alyson's office to let her know Im here another 5 days until the results are in. I realize being "stuck" in NYC is not the worst thing in the world but my heart had been prepared for Toronto for the last few months. I'm a nomad now. I feel lazy, useless, and stuck. I'm in a spiritual journey that has been rocked. I'm suffering doubt, temptations, and self-pity. What a disgusting state to be in.
Tuesday July 9th I'm on my own for the day! I tried to find a team I could help while I'm here but it would seem God gave me some time alone. There is clarity in being alone with God. I'm no longer "stuck" in NYC, I'm in an adventure. God is strengthening my desire to be in Toronto. God is confirming the problems aren't necessary a road block but may be guiding me (I stole this thought from some author). I have been affirmed from all directions, prayed for by people all across America, and able to encourage as well as be encouraged. God is providing for me and placed other believers in my path unexpectedly.
I'm thankful for my week of being homeless. It's taught me to not depend on myself.
