Post Op Clarity

The FACTS:
So my mom had her surgery.  The doctors drained 12 gallons of fluid from her stomach.  That's right 12 GALLONS.  I didn't even know that what possible in a person.  "Bless her heart" as they say in Alabama.  Both ovaries were removed which were enlarged with stage 3 cancer and they also removed the cancer from the inner lining of the stomach.  The doctors says they removed the cancer they could see and they will discuss any further treatments that will help kill possible floating cancer cells.

The WORRY:
You would think my worry is that my mom's cancer was stage 3, but I trust the doctors to not be hiding any facts from my dad.  No, my worry is that this will change my mom.  She has always been so strong.  She's the strong one of her family.  She reassures me of things and I'm the strong one of my friends so I know she is a rock.  When I went to my grandmother and uncle's funerals last fall I was sad and missed them, but uncontrollable crying was caused by seeing my mom lose it.  Her crying was unbearable.  I guess I'm afraid mom loses her strength.  Even now my mom was the strong one but sooo much has changed with this surgery.

The REALITY:
Fear is not the antithesis of Strength.  In fact, The Bible commands us to fear in the Lord and it says the Lord is my strength.  My mom has earned a time to not be a rock.  Christ is our rock, never changing.  We are transformative... she is allowed to be hopeful which implies something that needs hope.  Stage 3 cancer is not a death sentence.  The reality is stage 3 cancer has not defeated her, she is healed.  God is the great healer.  Recovery and remission will be difficult mostly because my mom is so stubborn she won't want to "waste" time on herself. 

The HOPE:
I was reminded today that as we pray we often pray for God to change us to be more like God.  We thank God for peace, understanding, and healing.  We are thankful for his love.  We cry and raise our fist to God asking him to give mercy in a situation that seems unbearable.  And although God is good to answer these prayers and provide for us we miss the point that God is God.  The first sin on earth was man's desire to be more like God, to know what God knows instead of worshipping him.  My desire for mom to be healed is secondary for my praise to God for being the great love, peace, merciful, all-knowing God that he is.