New Things: First time to write two blogs in one sitting
Ever since college I have had a clear passion to work in inner city ministry. I came to seminary seeking to be trained in counseling so I would be biblically prepared to give sound counsel and hope to those that are not always in the Church's radar. It brought tears to my eyes to see the Church's support in the Dean Road's ministry in college. Parents were getting out of jail, getting jobs, going to church, singing children's choir songs with their children, joining us in bible club, coming to upward basketball games, hearing the gospel. There was such much more that I needed to do but didn't know how.
Once I got to seminary, I began to sift through my options as a biblical counselor. Not many for the female population and even fewer in the Church. I do not oppose the Baptist stance on men pastors but I do understand there is not much opportunity. As I traveled my desire to be in the inner city grew as I experienced bigger cities and more people. I was not going to hate God sending me to New York, Chicago, Seattle, or even Africa. I just want to be with people. I got the question all the time "What are you going to do after school?" As always I would say "Live life with people".
I began to seriously pray about some of my concerns about finding a job that allow me to do what I believe God has gifted me to do and given me a passion for. Most ministries I have researched required me to raise my own support. I am not against raising money for ministry but I am terrible at it. And even though God can stretch me in my faith, I right now do not feel like God is asking me to do that. I also really desired a big city where I could work a full time job with benefits. I don't need a lot of money but I do desire to be a big girl and not rely on my parents for anything financially out of honor for their service to me. They have given so much to me and did so gladly because they support my education and desires in ministry. But bless their hearts if I didn't recognize their sacrifice for me.
Up until last week I had no leads on a job. I had some ideas of places I could apply. I didn't really want to stay at the YMCA mostly because I see what a full time position there does to a person's schedule. I was just hoping God would show up. He knew I was struggling. I'm fearful of what's after school. I'm fearful of failing or not figuring it out. But God was so good this week. Within 24 hrs I had a boss and professor suggest to me and recommend that I apply for full time positions they had heard about. Even if neither were actually possibilities, it is so good to know God is concerned with what I'm concerned. He has not forgotten my worries.
I prefer one of the jobs over the other just because it really would fit within the specifics I have brought before God about a future job. It would definitely fit within the realm of my dream job. I would be blessed and challenged. However the other job is the unknown and unfamiliar. I don't have as much experience but it may be even better than what I can imagine. I'm just grateful God is in my struggle with me.
All this to say, my prayer is what has kept in a state of thanksgiving when I could be freakin out. My prayers remind me to that God is working in the things that matter to me and worry me. He is sovereign in my circumstances. He has a plan and a means. He is God who answers.
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